REAL PETS. VERY QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS.
WHAT THE PAWS?!
We looked through your pet’s phone.
We have questions.
The texts. The searches. The shopping cart. Meet THE PHONE FILE: a peek at the digital life your pet would rather keep private.
EXPOSE MY PET Preview the conceptFor dogs & cats. Fictional secrets. Real personality.
“how to look unfed
after two dinners”
THE PHONE FILE / Illustrative preview
EXHIBIT A / THE DEMOS
We found the phone.
Apparently, “good boy” was a cover story.
These fictional examples show the idea. No actual pet surveillance required.
BISCUIT’S BROWSER
Search history
can cheese be a full time job
11:42 PMhow to look unfed after two dinners
11:44 PMis the vacuum legally allowed here
11:51 PMsquirrel restraining order
11:58 PMIncognito. Incriminating.
Biscuit. Cheese enthusiast. Vacuum skeptic.
Today 6:02 AM
Read. Emotionally ignored.
Cleo. The bowl is always half empty.
BISCUIT’S SHOPPING CART
Retail therapy.
Quantity: 47
For the collection.Quantity: 1
Don’t ask.A human with fewer rules.
Zero regrets. No credit limit.
Biscuit. A financial liability with ears.
Illustrative concepts, not customer files. Pets’ names and conversations are fictional.
THE PLAN / HOW IT WILL WORK
You know the pet.
We connect the dots.
One photo and a little insider knowledge. Here’s the experience we’re preparing for THE PHONE FILE.
NO DETECTIVE SKILLS REQUIRED- 01
Upload your pet
A clear photo, their name, and dog or cat. The usual suspects.
- 02
Tell us a few things
Their obsession, troublemaking habit, favorite person or animal, and biggest complaint.
- 03
We investigate
The concept: turn those details into a clever, fictional digital double life.
- 04
Get the evidence
The planned result: smartphone-style images to save, share, or give as a gift.
THE PHONE FILE / PLANNED COLLECTION
An entire
digital double life.
The idea is a collection of 6–8 personalized smartphone-style images. Familiar apps. Unfamiliar levels of audacity.
Take another look at the demosSearches & texts
Late-night questions. Conversations they thought you’d never read.
Shopping cart & Notes
Questionable purchases. Extremely ambitious snack strategies.
The deeper dive
Camera roll, screen time, or a fictional social profile. A lot to unpack.
The final receipt
A case summary connecting all those suspiciously familiar habits.
TO: THE PET-OBSESSED FRIEND
“This explains
so much.”
THE GIFT WITH INSIDER KNOWLEDGE
Their pet.
The main character.
For the friend who talks about their cat like a coworker. Or the dog parent with 4,000 photos of the same sleeping face. A personalized Phone File is our idea of a gift they’ll actually want to show everyone.
Made for the “you have to see this” moment on Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. Each demo carries WHAT THE PAWS?! branding, so the joke has a return address.
CASE STATUS
Checking the files…
Loading the current catalog.
YOUR PET HAS SECRETS. WE HAVE RECEIPTS.
Ready to find out what
your pet has been hiding?
EXPOSE MY PET Explore the concept and check availability.